The Florida Highway Patrol alleges a two-vehicle crash in Cudjoe Key, Fla., was caused by a female motorist trying to shave her private parts.

Trooper Gary Dunick alleges the woman, identified as Megan Mariah Barnes, was attempting to shave her bikini area while her former husband was holding the wheel when Barnes’ car crashed into the back of a pickup truck, the Key West (Fla.) Citizen reported Friday.

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Dunick alleges. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

Two female passengers in the pickup truck were treated for minor injuries after Tuesday’s accident.

Authorities said one day before the accident, Barnes was convicted of driving under the influence with a prior and driving with a suspended license, the Citizen reported. As a result of the conviction, her driver’s license was revoked for five years and her car was supposed to be impounded.

The Citizen said Barnes, 37, is facing charges of driving with a revoked license, reckless driving and driving with no insurance. She is also facing a charge of leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries for allegedly driving an additional half-mile after Tuesday’s crash.

Thanks UPI.

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Florida Idiot Calls 911 Over 200 TIMES!

 

Maybe he was bored. Maybe he just likes prank phone calls. But for some reason, a Florida man allegedly called 911 more than 200 times in a recent 3-day span. Highlands County sheriff’s deputies said Timothy Todd Lawrence spoke only to female dispatchers, and made sexually explicit remarks to one of them. He told dispatchers he did not need emergency assistance.

Lawrence allegedly made 151 calls on Feb. 13 between 2 a.m. and 10:52 a.m. alone. He continued the calls over the next few days.

The 31-year-old Avon Park man was arrested Thursday. It was unclear if he had legal representation.

Thanks My Way.

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 Sara Lou Kenny needed some clean urine to pass a drug test so, authorities say, she tried to smuggle the urine from her friend’s 4-year-old son past a probation officer and pass it off as her own.

It didn’t work.

Kenney, 20, of Townhouse Drive in New Port Richey, was arrested Friday at a substance abuse program office on Little Road.

Her friend and roommate, 26-year-old Amber Tobeck, was also arrested at the same office for giving her son’s urine to Kenny, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.

Both women are on felony probation – Kenny for drugs and Tobeck for fraud and theft convictions – according to the Florida Department of Corrections. Kenny’s two-year drug court probation sentence began Feb. 1. An arrest report said Kenny had methadone that was not prescribed to her.

Kenny and Tobeck are being held without bail at the Pasco County jail on charges of violating their probations. Kenny is unemployed. Tobeck told authorities she is a waitress at the Cracker Barrel restaurant in New Port Richey.

Thanks St. Petersburg Times.

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Police in Florida said a late-night drunken brawl between a couple began when the husband got out of bed to use the restroom and missed the toilet.

Pasco County Sheriff’s deputies said they arrived at the mobile home of Deanne Elsholz, 44, and David Elsholz, 50, in Wesley Chapel late Monday night and found both spouses drunk and with slightly different accounts of the evening’s confrontation, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Thursday.

Deanne told deputies she asked her husband what he was doing when she heard his urine splashing on the floor and he struck her in the head with a towel. She said she then threw the glass that struck him in the nose, causing blood to flow onto his chest and arms.

The deputies’ report says Deanne then “ran into the bathroom and slipped on David’s pee.” She then claims he kicked her in the ribs while she was on the ground.

David’s account differs in that he denies hitting his wife with the towel, saying she threw the glass at him while he was attempting to go back to bed. He also made no mention of kicking his wife.

Deanne Elsholz was deemed the aggressor in the conflict and arrested for domestic battery, a charge David has faced twice in recent years. Deputies said she was examined by a doctor who determined her ribs were not injured.

Thanks UPI.

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Florida Man Couch Surfs 52 Times in 52 Weeks

A Florida man said he finished his country-spanning project to spend a year staying each week in a different home belonging to friends, family or strangers.

Josh Sullivan, 28, of St. Petersburg set out on New Year’s Day 2009 with five backpacks worth of supplies and spent the year traveling from town to town as he was offered places to stay with friends, family or strangers he met on Internet sites including couchsurfing.org, the St. Petersburg Times reported Tuesday.

Sullivan said his journey took him across more than 21,000 miles in 41 states.

“I made sure not to research the places before I got there,” he said. “People would tell me, ‘Oh, make sure you go here,’ but nine times out of 10 they were touristy things. I wanted to find weird, crazy things.”

The traveler said he kept money in his pocket by painting and selling light switch covers for $10, as well as proceeds from his art Web site and PayPal donations from friends and fans.

Sullivan said he is now planning to write a book about his adventures and plan his next project.

Thanks UPI.

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Hillary Clinton’s plane was grounded in Saudi Arabia Tuesday, forcing the secretary of state to hitch a flight on Gen. David Petraeus’ ride, outranking him in the process.

Hillary Clinton’s plane was grounded in Saudi Arabia Tuesday, forcing the secretary of state to hitch a ride on Gen. David Petraeus’ plane, outranking him in the process.

The secretary’s plane was supposed to be heading home after a four-day trip to the Middle East that ended with meetings in the Red Sea city of Jeddah.

Petraeus happened to also be in Saudi Arabia to meet with King Abdullah, and was planning to fly home to Florida but will now drop Clinton off in Washington, D.C., after a refueling in Germany. 

Petraeus made a stop-over in Jeddah to collect Clinton, her Secret Service detail and some staff.

Clinton’s plane broke down because of a valve that leads fuel to the engine. The valve actually stopped working just minutes before the secretary and press arrived at the airport for take-off. 

Options that had been considered for the secretary included a commercial flight, a C-17 military plane, a new plane or camel caravan. However, all were ruled out.

The general is flying in a 737, and once Clinton steps on board she outranks him.

The press corps that was following Clinton around the region is going to be provided a lift to Germany courtesy of the State Department but has to find its own way home after that. 

Since Petraeus is going to be swinging by Washington, D.C., he could schedule some meetings but that still is up in the air. 

Thanks Fox News.

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A Florida woman, 66, said she has to crawl between two railroad cars to go anywhere from her home after being trapped by the cars.

Aretha Brown said a train parked 40 cars on the tracks that run in front of her Callahan house Dec. 27 — and just left them there, the Jacksonville (Fla.) Times-Union reported Saturday.

Brown said she must crawl under the cars even to go to her mailbox, or else walk 20 minutes to get around the train. She struggles to keep her Sunday best clean when she goes to church. It’s very difficult making her way under the train with a bag of groceries, the newspaper reported.

“My house is falling apart and I can’t get anyone to come and make repairs because they won’t climb under the train,” Brown told the Times-Union.

She said she banged her shoulder crawling under the cars and it hurt for weeks.

Brown said her parents bought the old white house more than 30 years ago. Her sister and niece, Mae and Rita Hailey, lived in an adjoining house before they moved out in frustration a few weeks ago. Her brother, Frank Cheavers, still lives in the adjoining house.

“I really don’t think anyone would want to buy this,” she laughed when asked if she would sell the homes.

Mae Hailey said she asked CSX Transportation to move the cars, or at least disconnect them in front of Brown’s house, but the railroad declined to do so.

CSX preferred to locate a new destination for the train, and also intends to build an access road that would permit Brown to reach the street without having to cross the tracks, CSX spokesman Gary Sease said.

Thanks UPI.

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A Florida Highway Patrol trooper based in South Florida has been arrested on charges of official misconduct, after authorities said he wrote hundreds of fake citations to drivers. Paul C. Lawrence was accused of trying to increase the number of citations he issued by writing bogus tickets. More than 200 traffic tickets he issued since November have been dismissed, and there may be more.

Authorities grew suspicious when the ticketed motorists began complaining they knew nothing about the citations. Prosecutors said Lawrence had used information from drivers he previously stopped to draft new tickets.

A spokesman for the FHP said they don’t operate on a quota system.

Lawrence could not be reached for comment.

Thanks My Way.

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Authorities in Florida said they arrested a knife-wielding man who allegedly chased a relative around the house for turning off the TV.

The St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office said Fransisco Yanez-Mejia, 30, of Fort Pierce, grabbed a knife after a male family member turned off his TV and chased the other man around the house while threatening to kill him, TCPalm.com reported Monday.

The relative told police he used a small trash can to block the knife and locked himself in a bathroom and called 911.

Police arrived and arrested Yanez-Mejia at about 1:30 a.m. Monday. He told investigators he was using the knife to cut lemons and was not trying to hurt anyone.

Yanez-Mejia was taken to the St. Lucie County Jail in lieu of $5,000 bond. Sheriff’s officials said U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement is involved in the investigation.\

Thanks UPI.

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Ma’am, looks like your car needs a little work, after all.

An auto shop owner in Sanibel totaled his customer’s Porsche when he took it out for “diagnostics,” hitting speeds as high as 164 mph and flipping the car on a road shoulder, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Kenneth R. Kasten, 50, escaped without injury from the crash, which occurred on a curve by the Sanibel Tollbooth around 6 a.m. The 2008 Porsche Boxster suffered $50,000 in damage. It came to rest upside-down on the shoulder of McGregor Boulevard, east of the toll booth.

Kasten was charged with willful and wreckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

According to reports, the car’s owner dropped the car at Kasten’s shop, Sanibel Shell, for service on Wednesday. She was aware he had driven the sportscar home for diagnostics, the report said. She didn’t know about the wreck until notified by at trooper.

When discovered, the car was thought to be stolen. Kasten was later found at the toll parking lot at 11:30 a.m., according to the report.

He was wearing a seatbelt at the time of the crash, according to the report. Alcohol was not believed to be a factor.

Thanks Naples News.com

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A Florida state correctional officer accused of burglary told police he was looking for a new “lady friend” because his “hormones were confusing him.”

Osceola County sheriff’s deputies said Christopher Blandin, 25, was arrested early Saturday morning after they received a call about a man attempting to break into a house in Celebration, Fla., at about 5:35 a.m., the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday.

The owner of the home said he and his wife were awakened by a man knocking at their door and asking directions away from the area. The man left after receiving directions, but the homeowner said he and his wife later heard what sounded like someone trying to force their front door open.

The resident said he saw someone flee in a vehicle with headlights switched off after he set off the house alarm and his wife called 911.

Deputies said Blandin was stopped near the scene and admitted to trying to break into the house. He told deputies he had knocked on three doors in the area seeking a new “lady friend” because he was having problems with his girlfriend and felt insecure, a sheriff’s office report said.

The report said Blandin told deputies his “hormones were confusing him and that he was hoping that if he could get a woman to the door then he could seduce her.”

Blandin was taken to the Osceola County Jail on burglary and criminal mischief charges. Officials said they are in the process of firing him from his position at Polk Correctional Institute.

Thanks UPI.

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A 19-year-old man came home about 3 p.m. Thursday and heard his dryer running.

He had no clothes in it, so he went to see who did. The dryer is behind a screen door on the patio of the home in the 1500 block of Stonehaven Drive in Boynton Beach.

The teen discovered a hooded stranger doing his laundry. Upon confrontation, the hot-air thief grabbed his clothes and ran away, according to a police report.

The thief caused about $20 in damage to the screen door by prying it open, according to the report.

The suspect with soggy clothes remains on the loose late Friday.

Thanks Sun Sentinal.

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